What if all your life who you are and your personhood has had little acceptance? Don’t these things follow you everywhere, in every sphere of your life? Also into beds with your lovers? For me, everything is a fight because deep down I feel unworthy.
If you are like me, you’d probably learn everything that would give you some acceptance. You learn new tricks,, your learn to please, you accumulate power but can you still ask for what you desire? Or like me do you still fight for the basics and are resentful because you don’t think you are deserving?
I began to realize this and wanted to change my equation with pleasure and which is why I am doing this project – #28daysoferoticpleasure. (I decided to be realistic and I hope to stick with it).
Recently I was talking to a woman across the border sharing a sexual affirmation video with them, telling them, how listening to it was liberating, how I came multiple times and the deep sense of shame my body holds. She said, “I don’t think one can be a South Asian woman and not have shame. We have a warped relationship with pleasure.”
So this is going to be an art project to learn to overcome shame and to welcome erotic pleasure into our lives and learn from each other.
It will document how people have discovered solitary erotic pleasure. It will have resources and recommendations from every person who shares their experience.
This project is currently only by invitation, I will open it to you when I feel less overwhelmed. And yes, you may share and may your bids for intimacy be met with a resounding YES!