A from Mumbai shares a tender tale of love and loss.

“I always loved meeting new people. I feel it is easier to talk to strangers. No one judges you, they don’t know you and you can be yourself.

As for Tinder, I first used it in the UK. It was the first time that I was living an absolutely independent life in a new country. Initially I wasn’t too keen on a “dating” app but towards the end I didn’t mind giving it a try. And in my last few days I met a few people and was glad to have met them. That’s when I realised that people were not just looking to hook up but there were people who were genuinely looking for good conversations and some company.

Once I came back to India, I uninstalled the app. I thought Indians would use Tinder just to hook up but I was still curious about how it was here.

I reinstalled it when I was meeting a few cousins in Delhi (I live in Bombay) and had a few matches. One was with this guy who loved automobiles and was working with Lamborghini. I loved the brand and he was kind of cute. We got talking and got along really well. But I had to come back to Bombay and we couldn’t meet.

The distance didn’t matter, we kept talking. We would talk about cars, movies, music, everything. Overtime, we grew very fond of each other. Having a similar kind of work schedule, we’d be driving at the same time in the evening and would keep each other company on the phone.

We were getting closer everyday. He trusted me and shared minute details of his life with me. One day, he was very disturbed and told me that his mom was not well and she may not make it. He didn’t want to lose her and was really heartbroken. He had always been a mamma’s boy and it was a difficult time for him. He talked to me through this period and I heard him out. That was all I could do, be there for him.

One night, he messaged me at 3 am to say she was no more. I burst into tears. He was shaken by her death and I couldn’t do anything but console him with my words as I was in Bombay and he in Delhi. I knew this was difficult on him and wanted to be with him.

For more than two weeks he didn’t go back to work but life had to go on. He slowly started getting back to his routine but wasn’t the same happy person. He was more mechanical now.

We grew more close during this period and would spend more time on the phone. One day he messaged me saying he was going to meet a friend and would get back soon. And I said, “Please be careful, I’ll miss you.” I also told him that I was planning to visit Delhi soon. It had been 5 months since we started taking, I had to meet him.

The night passed and I kept waiting for him to reply. I tried calling him but couldn’t get through. I thought he must have gone on an impromptu trip. I sent him a few messages and tried calling him again for the next 2 days. There was no reply and then I was really worried.

Was he fine? Was he ignoring me? What was happening?

I had no other way to contact him except that one number that I kept trying. When I didn’t hear from him for 4 days, I decided to call the Lamborghini office. I didn’t care if we had met on Tinder. I just knew I really cared for this man and him not being around was bothering me.

Little did I know that there was something terrible waiting in store for me. The night he last messaged me was the last night of his life. He had met with an accident and hadn’t made it.

I cried my eyes out..

It was beyond anything I had experienced in life, we had grown so close. It was unfair that we could’t meet even once and now he was gone. Forever.

Life is so short and unpredictable.

It has been a little over 7 months now, I still can’t believe what happened. I think about him everyday and wish only if I could have met him once…Told him how much I cared for him… How much I loved him … How much I wanted to be with him. .. It all remained unsaid…”

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