Day 43 of 100 Indian Tinder Tales
B from Bangalore shares her tale
“It was May 2015. I had used Tinder for a while and met many people off it. Then I happened to right swipe this guy, I knew there was something special about him, his eyes, they seemed deep, almost peering into one’s soul. And we had a match!
We chatted. He said he wasn’t looking for anything serious, yet his bio said ‘not for hookups’. After about a month of chatting we decided to meet for coffee, it was a good date, he actually held the door open for me and asked me later if I had reached home! No one I had met off Tinder had ever done that.
He said he was just looking for some company and that he was recovering from a heart break for six months now. Somehow we couldn’t meet again for a longtime. Meanwhile I had other matches with whom I was chatting and went on dates.
He and I kept in touch on WhatsApp. We talked about everything from music, politics, love, loss, philosophy and poetry. There were times he used to be so down and he’d leaned on me because I was the only person who listened. He used to write, I’d read his writing on Facebook. I fell in love with his poetry, they were brief but profound, I knew his poems by heart.
I began writing too. I had a crush on him. I would think about him day and night. I confessed in November, but by now I was sure I was in love with him, I told him, but he said care is all he could offer and it’s mine to take if I wished.
I made a choice, a risky one, one which I knew would hurt me in the end. I loved him, he didn’t love me but he cared. We met again on new year’s eve. Its the best one I’ve had so far. We kissed, I sang “We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl”. He smiled.
He has a beautiful smile, I loved his dimples. We made love that night. He kissed my forehead and hand while I lay in his arms. He said “thank you”, and I asked “for what?”
He was lonely, very lonely, he was thanking me just for my company.
We kept in touch, but something had changed in him since February. He wouldn’t talk to me properly. I grew restless and insecure. I tried blocking him, I couldn’t. I was addicted to him and he seemed indifferent. I met him again in April 2016, I cried, guess that’s what unrequited love does to you. He consoled me, he was nice. But I was on an emotional roller coaster, I blocked him again following a nice goodbye message, so that I could keep myself from bothering him. I couldn’t hold back and unblocked him after 3 days. But he had blocked me. I apologised over SMS for my reckless behaviour, but he wouldn’t listen, he said he didn’t want intimacy at the cost of ruining his disposition, and that he’d like to be left alone. We are back to where we started – strangers.
I don’t know if it’s crazy that I fell in love with someone I met on Tinder.”