Day 44 of 100 Indian Tinder Tales
K from Vadodara shares her tale.

“I’m a perpetually bored person and was home for some work when I swiped him right. He had a funny bio. We instantly hit it off on chat and I gave him my number the next day.

He was very interesting and funny. And I hadn’t really talked to anyone as witty as him and would really look forward to chat with him.

We decided to meet after two days. On the day we were to meet, I called him, his phone was not reachable and he wasn’t looking at text messages either. After 20 minutes of waiting, I was sure I was being stood up. And then he called and came to meet me in about 5 minutes.

We didn’t go to a coffee shop or a restaurant, we went for a walk, chattering nonstop. I’m a sucker for good conversations and was more than happy to meet someone with whom I could talk, crack jokes and who made me laugh. We had some great moments while talking except a few where he turned out to be kind of a jerk. Maybe this is difference between a person’s online and offline persona. We exchanged a semi awkward side hug and went our ways.

Later he messaged me asking when I’d be back in town to which I replied not so soon. We talked for a bit and then there was no conversation. A month later, there was a long weekend and he texted me again asking if I was going to be around and that he’d like to see me. I thought of how much fun he was but still refused to meet him. We never spoke after that.

There is a slight twist in the story here. I know these are Tinder tales and that the stories should stay and stick around the app but our lives are full of so many social media platforms and the transitions from one app to another is so fluid, so bear with me.

One night, I was going through my Twitter feed and there was this anon guy I had followed. Hadn’t really interacted with him previously but that night I replied to one of his tweets. And from there on, we went on to have a long thread of tweet exchanges with each other and soon were direct messaging each other silly jokes and anecdotes. At this point I would like to say I’m not really anon on Twitter. I have my face but not my name. He on the other hand was completely anon with a false name and DP. I would look forward for his messages and couldn’t wait to text back. We were on a roll. I once asked him his name and he tactfully dodged it.

And then one weekend, I was supposed to be home. And he happened to tell me that he was there too but was new to the place, we made plans to meet. Never before this had I met a faceless person off the internet. But I went. I waited for an hour and was sure I have been stood up and then I got a call from an unknown number saying, “Hello stranger. I’m so sorry, I’m late. Come out of the cafe and let’s go out somewhere. I am out wearing a black shirt.”

I paid hurriedly and went out looking for a black shirt and saw a guy in a black shirt, grinning from ear to ear looking at me. I was furious. I had no idea it was the same guy I had encountered on Tinder less than a month back. I dissed, hurled abuses and laughed all at the same time. He just let me get over my surprise and anger and gave me big hug while I still cursed. He knew it all the time. We had dinner and talked for a good 3 hours that night. I left giving him a not-so-awkward hug and grinning all the way back to home. For me, it was surreal. I didn’t think it was possible. Of all the men that the Internet had to offer, our paths had crossed again! I wanted to pursue it.

I know it has gotten a little too lengthy by now and you get a lot of stories and are probably bored. But what ensues is just a follow up. I met him regularly for the following three months over weekends or whenever I had to travel for conferences, etc.

We talked, cracked silly jokes, made stupid 90s movie references and had a good time almost every time we met. We texted all the time. It was fun. I was 24 and hadn’t really dated anyone during my college or in postgrads. I thought – this maybe the guy I could date. I was just really happy to have found someone who matched my weirdness and really, really wanted to give it a shot. And one night I called him after getting drunk. It went like all drunken conversations do. Silly and forgettable. Except this one didn’t. He texted me the next day saying he wanted to see me that weekend and was coming to the place I work at. I was ecstatic. We were figuring things out. And a day before he was supposed to come, he called to say he can’t make it. I was mighty disappointed. But that’s how things have been with him. Unpredictable. I did not want to rush things and wanted to keep my cool.

I stepped back. I wouldn’t incessantly text. I would make sure I’m not the first one to text always. But I had an immense crush on him. And I said that to him in January 2016 over the phone, 10 days after he cancelled his weekend trip. I said, ” I know it’s weird and I’m more weird for saying it but, I like you. And I like you a lot.” To which he said, ” Yes K, I know. And you’re a very interesting person. I think we should talk about this when we meet.” We texted for the next 2 days and then bam… there was silence. There were no calls. No texts. No tweets. He wasn’t anywhere. I wanted to keep my cool. I was the one who texted last. It was his turn. He didn’t. I didn’t. It was bad. I was miserable. I would see him online and I couldn’t do anything.

Twitter was my place to go to and whine. He was there too. I couldn’t put my thoughts out there. I would cry. And I wouldn’t even need alcohol for that. I swiped guys right. Would talk to them. No one was like him. Alcohol made me more miserable. I would open his chat window. Type ‘hi’ but wouldn’t send it. Maybe I was in love, I couldn’t tell. This went on for four months, then one night, I sent a, “hi! how are you?” He replied the next morning with a ” hi babe m good how are you.” I was busy and replied back in the afternoon. He replied that evening and we were back to what we used to be. No awkwardness. No questions were asked. I was too scared to ruin it again. He cared too less to be answerable.

I had work in his city and we made plans to meet. The day after I texted him, he broke his four month long twitter hiatus and tweeted a lame joke. I met him again after 4 months and 15 days. He wasn’t late this time. We hugged. Had coffee. Talked. Laughed and cracked silly jokes. All the while I thought it was so stupid of me to have waited for so long. It was so easy. I was little less miserable. We don’t text as often as we would . But often enough to make weekend plans.

One night we got drunk. And we kissed and we made out and then passed out in each others arms. I was happy.

This was a month ago. I met him once after that and we kissed then as well. We talk like we used to. But not as often. My necessity to keep my cool and not freak him out again kills my urge to be able to talk to him daily. I don’t know where it is headed right now. I’m happy with him being back and with the realisation that I can go back to him and that he isn’t going away anywhere. He talks to me in the nicest way when I call. He sends the funniest of memes.

But I’ve to do it first. At 25 this seems a little silly. But I’m okay being the silly one mostly if that is what gets me to have a nice hearty conversation with him. I’m the one who wants more. “

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