Day 50 of 100 Indian Tinder Tales
“His pictures weren’t very self-indulgent, (which I personally think is a good sign). Casually sitting by the beach, in his swimming trunks and a tee… I don’t remember what it was about the T-shirt – but that is what got me to swipe right. The conversation was witty and funny – like Dorothy Parker would say – calisthenics with words… and what made it even better, the grammar nazi in me was impressed! (ka-ching! – I’d hit the jackpot with that). Our banter and jibes kept me hooked, until an argument about our religious choices ceased all communications.
Here’s the thing, he was a devout Muslim (not someone you’d traditionally imagine finding on a dating app like Tinder) and I was a spiritual one, or as he called it – a kaafir) and it wound me up that he would think it necessary to show me the “right path”.
Then one night, about a week or so later, I got a FaceTime call from him. With my eyes still shut, I wondered if he’d pocket dialed by mistake. On answering, he didn’t reply with a hello, or a hey, or a hi – but rather said this – “I’m performing my Umrah in Mecca, and all I can think of is you. This has never happened, I can’t stop it and I need to. Meet me when I’m back.” And that was it – he hung up.
The thought that I had such an impact on him, had me a little intrigued. We met a week later but the je ne sais quoi was gone. Not wanting to lead him on, I told him how I felt. He asked if we could continue being “friends” and I was happy with this. We chatted sporadically. And then, the “Care packages” started to arrive at my work place (containing expensive dates, oolong tea, dark chocolate and strips of pain killers for the migraines that our debates gave me – and also the T-shirt that he had on in the pic that I’d liked).
With a little effort and an argument, I managed to put a stop to that. He then figured friends surprise friends by arriving at the airport to pick them up with a box of their favorite pastries and desserts (!!!) I now had a feeling this was getting out of hand. I started putting in distance, reduced my interactions, and even asked him politely to stop indulging in such behavior as it made me uncomfortable.
He responded by sending Biryani for my team of 50 at work on a Friday. Just. Like. That. Not knowing what to do, I called him up, and had what I thought was a very stern adult conversation about respecting boundaries.
This elicited a picture of a pair of Christian Louboutin’s with the message “these are yours”! And no – I didn’t take them either. (Dang!)
Needless to say, I was now a little freaked out. This had gotten way out of hand, and no amount putting in any distance or the foot down, or being unresponsive helped. Having tried every other trick in the book, I finally figured I could tell him that I was seeing someone. Bad Idea! But it worked like a charm – well not before the drama I had come to expect.
He responded by sending me 542 messages in a span of two hours, telling me that I wasn’t worthy of his love. This was followed by phone calls with him shouting on the other end, while crying. The last message from him read that he needed to get away from this city, and me (after only three meetings) and took off to some exotic location for six months to recover from our six week long interaction.
Well I guess that worked well for both, him and me.
Months later, he dropped me a message saying he was apologetic for his behavior and that he needed me to forgive him. Think I would take a chance saying “no” this time?!”
Induviduality 