Day 63 of 100 Indian Tinder Tales

my illustration has gone all wrong. Inspiration was Young Woman with Face Buried in Arms by Henri Matisse

A from Bangalore opens up and shares about her quest for love.

“Part 1: This is the story that lead me to dowload Tinder.

They say the devil comes dressed as everything you ever wished for and this story is exactly that. He was 31, he looked like a Greek God, I was 23 and NAIVE. A mutual friend introduced us and we fell in love. Madly. In two weeks, he said he loves me and I was on cloud nine. Then I couldn’t imagine a day when I’d turn into a total wreck, I was in love.

We had crazy sex, he was a Jiu Jistu black belt and he tossed and turned me and had his way with me which I loved every bit of. He was extremely secretive about me, never introduced me to his people and never wanted to meet mine. I always felt like maybe I am too ugly or maybe I don’t match upto his level. Soon this feeling filled my mind and I started questioning everything. He called me names, would get angry that I partied too much, called me a slut for wearing work out clothes to the gym. He killed my spirit. He would call me a piece of shit, immature, juvenile… but I still held onto him because I felt I couldn’t do better. Then he cheated on me on Valentine’s Day in Gokarna, he left me in the cottage for another girl who happened to be his childhood friend who also was in Gokarna on that day for some strange reason.

Part 2: Tinder
Three months had gone by, I longed for company, someone to share my bed with, someone to stitch the ripped edges together, someone to love me. Being from the fashion industry, most of the men I work with are gay and the rest of the guys that I meet on weekends in clubs and house parties are standard fuck boys who would say anything to stick it in a hole. So out of utter desperation and hopelessness, I downloaded Tinder. Yes, I was looking for love, funny I know, but then I am hopeless. I swiped right three guys.

The first guy, Mr goody-two-shoes, lived across the street from me. Handsome, charming, rich, he had his whole life sorted but was boring as an instruction manual. We are still friends, but then, nah, he is dull as hell.

Second guy I matched with was immediately blocked for reasons I don’t remember. Oh I do, because he came online too many times (this is when Tinder had the option where you could see the time when one last logged in). Plus, he never texted me.

Third guy was a biker, journalist and had that picture with Bud Magnum. YES. YES. YES. We spoke for a month and finally met up and had the worst first date.

Though we didn’t connect on the first date, we were reluctant to let the past one month go to waste. We met once again. He saw me without my pretty dress, I saw him without his formal shirt, we both liked this real side of one another and this soon led to what I would call was the worst relationship of my life. Trust me he was worse than first guy who led me to download Tinder. Why I say worse is because he did everything a nice guy would do, but he never NEVER said he loved me. He saved me from being run over by a car, introduced me to his friends, took me to the park on the weekend, got me kebabs and biryani from home, hell, he did my dishes and cleaned after I had puked. But, never said I love you. This drove me nuts, and I started questioning the authenticity of this. He told me I might have bipolar disorder and I actually made an appointment with the shrink and got meds. It didn’t help and he kept feeding me the bullshit that I was cuckoo and he didn’t like spending time with me, stoppped coming home and started pushing me away.

I tried overdosing on Anxit one night when his brother and best friend were over, and that was the last straw. They managed to save me but that was the last of it. I begged, blackmailed, died inside, nothing would bring him back. That ended.

Part 3: Months had gone by, things had changed. I was more calmer, extremely bored and got horny and downloaded Tinder again. I saw Cappie’s profile, a typical nerd, with a sweet intro. He seemed harmless. The first gif he sent me was of a bear. I thought it was cute. We talked for hours. We talked about heartbreak, sex, childhood, death and it felt like talking to a new best friend.

I finally met him after a month of him begging me. We met and he ordered a strawberry milkshake, I looked up at him and I said, “I’ve never met a person more cuter than me and I don’t like it.” He laughed. We then went to three other places the very same day, and he kissed me on the forehead as I left.

Two months have gone by, I met his mom last week, I think this is the most peaceful I’ve been in ages.

We kiss so much, we make the Angrez couples in Chianti uncomfortable. He makes breakfast while I’m in the shower, he asks me to look sexy for him, I don’t think I can ask for a better guy for me, and most importantly I can break into tears in front of him for breaking my phone screen or because it rained that day. We meet twice a week and he puts up with all my putziness. I am as happy as a bird.”

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