Day 72 of 100 Indian Tinder Tales

P from America talks about her perfect first date, polyamory and Palak Paneer.

“For the last 1.5 years, I was in an open relationship with a man I met online, in the comment section of a blog on Indian dating! We hit it off immediately and started dating but the catch was, it was an open relationship from the beginning, and it was also long distance. Ethical non-monogamy suited us both, and we dated/hooked up with other partners, men and women, with total transparency on all sides. Recently, though, our relationship went bust because of long-distance issues, among other things.

I had downloaded Tinder for the first time around the time we were breaking up. This is in the US, and at first I had a bunch of half-hearted matches where nobody really talked or made any moves as such. I was impatient and about to give up on Tinder (OKCupid is my preferred website for online dating) when I matched with T, a PhD student in astronomy.

So there was this beautiful stargazer, in an open marriage and on Tinder seeking women, as I was too. I messaged her and we talked back and forth–we clicked immediately. We decided to meet for a date during an open-air concert and it was a perfect first date–sitting in a grassy amphitheatre sipping wine, and then talking our heads off once the concert ended.

We talked for four hours straight without noticing the time! About love and polyamory and how one can be in love with multiple partners at the same time, how you negotiate simultaneous relationships, how women loving women is often not considered as “real” a love as a heterosexual couple, and about loss and unrequited love. Deep stuff for a first meeting, but it felt perfect. We met again soon after for a lunch date, and we’re meeting again to cook together at her place–she is a vegetarian and I will teach her how to make palak paneer, among other t

I am so hopeful about this new Tinder connection. It just feels right–honest and exciting and very, very special. I deleted the Tinder app from my phone–I don’t think I need it now anymore, for a while at least.”

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