Day 73 of 100 Indian Tinder Tales
T from Chennai shares her tale.

“After some skepticism surrounding Tinder, and some encouragement from a close friend, I budged and decided to download the app. Mostly out of curiosity. A few days in, I finally swiped right and matched with a dusky, muscular, possibly cute-ish guy. He hadn’t filled in the bio and that left me more curious.

A day passed and he still hadn’t initiated conversation. So, I decided to woman up and say, “It’s not everyday that I come across a perfectly chiselled body,” to which he replied “haha thank you”. His grammar and punctuation irked me a bit but I repeatedly reminded myself not to be judgemental. Sometimes people just type lazily, right?

So, the conversation went on and a day later he asked for my number. Still skeptical, I thought, “Fuck it. Let’s see what happens”. So he began texting me, confidently calling me ‘babe’ and ‘sweetie’ (which I don’t exactly appreciate being called). And then he randomly said, “Let’s go somewhere private”. Catching a whiff of sleaze, I suggested that we get dinner and ruled out the possibility of going ‘somewhere private’.

He said, “That’s fine,” and we settled on a date.

Fast forward past his lack of conversational skills, I sort of forced myself to go on this date. I had recently gotten out of a longterm relationship and realised that it had been years since I casually dated. This was the push I needed to get back to dating. So I went.

On the day of the date, he was 15 minutes late so I decided to smoke a cigarette or two in the parking lot while I waited. He finally pulled up and parked near my car, got out, walked towards me and gave me a hug. We awkwardly but discreetly sized each other up, we both realised that we looked a little different from our pictures. Not disappointing, just different. I have to add that he had a seriously big butt. Yeah, I noticed.

So we found a table, ordered some food and he fired questions at me. I answered all of them and asked some in return. He told me that he’s a teetotaller and total gym enthusiast. I said, “That’s impressive. I wish I had that much willpower.”

As we’re eating and talking, he casually opened his mouth and picked out chicken from his teeth, all the while steadily maintaining eye contact. I’m pretty sure I went poker faced, but continued talking. Ten minutes later, again! At this point I was thinking he has no manners because he casually pulled out the chicken from between his teeth. No change of demeanour, nothing.

Dinner finally over, and I was about to thank him and leave when he suggested we go for a little drive in my car. I tried to decline but he insisted, he said, “You can smoke. I just want to hang out.” So I thought, “Fuck it. I’ll just smoke a joint”.

So I was driving and he insisted that he knew how to crush so I let him. I pulled over and rolled the joint and he was ready with my lighter, ready to help me light up. “A little too eager, but okay,” I thought. It was a tiny spliff so I finished it in less than 5 minutes, threw the roach out the window and said, “All right, let’s go.”

“What’s the rush? Aren’t you high? How are you feeling?”.
“I feel fine. Buzzed, I guess.”
“Wanna see my biceps?”
“Cool.”
He flexed his muscles and then put his arm around my neck and pulled me towards him. He then proceeded to violate and smother every inch of my mouth, inside and out. His hand made a beeline for my breasts. Reflexively I pushed him back into his seat and said, “No. Stop it. I think it’s time to go.” So I put the car in gear and ripped it back to the restaurant and pulled up next to his car. I turned to him and I said, “bye.” He tried to come in for another kiss. I had to wrestle him off.
“You should go.”
“I came all the way for you.”
“I’m sorry but it’s late and I have to get home”
He tried again. I put my hand over my face and pushed him away, yet again.
“Get out of my car.”
“Fine babe. See you soon.”
Yeah, I don’t think so. Not a great start to a Tinder journey. “

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