Day 81 of 100 Indian Tinder Tales
Inspiration: Brazilian artist Ismael Nery’s piece called Namorados (Portuguese for lovers)
U from Mumbai shares her story

“A break up later, in a fit of rage, I decided that I’m not going to sit and cry over someone who left me. I’d rather go and kiss seven boys. A random thought, it started with two guys from outside Tinder, after them, I realized it was difficult to meet new people and so Tinder happened. Three more kissers later, I was bored and decided to stop this activity and decided to just hang out with new people from Tinder.

That is when he stepped in, a Brazilian guy who was in India for a project. His name was G. Him being a foreigner, I didn’t really trust him and just thought of talking. A while into the conversation, he started giving me advice to deal with my break up. Having not asked for the advice, it annoyed me and I thought of unmatching him. Just as I was about to, he changed the topic and invited me for ice cream. I decided against unmatching and continued talking to him. A few days of talking to him and I had grown very fond of him. Unlike others, he spoke about life, culture, religion, politics, etc rather than making out or sex.

One night, I just blurted out while chatting with him that I wanted to kiss him. He laughed it off but asked me out the next day. It was May 9, 2016. After a tiring day at work and attending a lecture, I met him at a mall. We decided to take an auto home together. Five minutes and one hug later, we started kissing. The next twenty minutes, we kept kissing and went past my home. Hahaha!

The next morning, we decided we would meet again that evening, this time taking things to his apartment. We met at a mall close to his house and walked to his house. I was a virgin at that time. I had grown up with the belief that you fall in love once and you share all forms of intimacy with that one person (yes, my partner was the first guy I kissed). I was still firm that I will lose my virginity only to the guy I settle down with. Once at his place, we started with hugging and kissing and slowly one thing led to another and there I was, completely naked in front of a guy for the first time in my life. Lol.

A while later, we were attempting intercourse, it was the the first time for me. What a crazy rush it gave me, the idea of losing my virginity to an exotic Brazilian. Never before had I felt so comfortable with a guy physically, not even my partner. Nothing bothered me that night, my figure, my weight, my body hair…nothing. Though I couldn’t take the pain and we decided to give up that night after quite a few failed attempts. I feared it would anger him but every time he just kissed me, smiled and said, “it’s alright baby, please relax”.

We continued talking after that night. He had very little time left in India. On May 21, after much deliberation (he was worried that spending long hours together would lead to attachment and that would make things difficult with him leaving soon), we decided to meet for an hour and a half at his apartment. We decided on not getting intimate to avoid further bonding.

I reached there around 4pm with a plan to leave by 5.30 since I had a lecture at 6.30pm and he wanted to prepare for an overnight party with his friends at his place. Ten minutes in his room and we were already kissing. All our plans of no intimacy squashed in no time. Lol. I kept worrying about the time and he just pulled out my watch and kept it aside around 5 pm. Soon we were in his bed with orange juice and a joint (another thing I never thought I’d try. .hahaha). One thing lead to another, we were soon attempting intercourse again this time too, I couldn’t make it through the pain. With tears in my eyes, I apologised saying I felt like a failure and he said, “you not being able to do it doesn’t bother me baby, you crying does.”

It ended with a shower together and when I next checked the time, it was 9 pm. Four hours had flown by! He chucked his party preparations to spend time with me. We spent another half an hour just lying next to each other and chatting. Our 1.5 hour meeting had become a 5.5 hour meeting

In hindsight, I find it so funny that someone I trusted the least turned out to be the best. He taught me to love my body. He treated me like a princess making my first attempt so special. He made me so much more confident as a person. Though we didn’t have penetrative sex, I’d still consider him my first (P.S. he is the first and only person to see me completely naked). Come to think of it, he was someone I found annoying and had almost unmatched. I’m so glad he changed the topic in that fraction of a second. That one thing changed so much for me and left me with the most beautiful and cherished moments of my life.

He has left India but we still talk once in a while. With him, I felt something strong, not really love…, it was a different form of love filled with a lot of respect.”

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