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will recycle anything especially love

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Body of Stories: 56


Over to S. S’s favourite is Hokusai’s The Dream of the Fisherman’s wife. I am sorry I couldn’t try it. Another time.

“Milestones of my life

Age 15: No apparent effect of raging hormones. Not interested in masturbation.

Age 18: No interest in getting physical with my boyfriend. Still not interested in masturbation.

Age 20: Reeling in self-doubt and thinking I am broken. Faking enjoying sex (because who does not?!)

Age 21: Depressed about having to partake in physical intimacy that I abhor but still in love with my boyfriend. I want to cuddle with him. Only cuddle.

Age 22: Could it possibly be the person I am with that makes me hate sex? Maybe I should try being with other men….or women?

Age 23: Trying to convince a loving boyfriend it really is me and not him. We break up because I cannot feel an orgasm and it makes him insecure about his masculinity.

Age 24: Give up on understanding myself. Depressed. Hopeless.

Age 25: I start aggressively dating to find the one. It is a game of numbers now. Dating Pattern: 3 dates. Always. By the 3rd date as I reveal my sexuality……it is vital they can categorise me. Some of the categories THEY try to put me in….. Liar? Depressed? Freak? Rape survivor? Amoeba?

Age 26: Continues trying to fix myself…. Self-prescribed exposure therapy – try to watch a lot of porn! No change in interest or rather disinterest.

Age 27: I find AVEN (Asexual visibility and education network). I learn that there are words that I can use to describe who I am. Just having words to explain what I feel seems like a battle half won.

I am asexual. I am biromantic. I do not need fixing. I am not an amoeba.”

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