“I have always loved my breasts the way they are. They are small and petite and have a bit of hair growth around the nipples. They also have a very common condition called fibrocystic breast changes. This means that I can feel lumps in them and sometimes they hurt when touched.
During my teenage years, I was so glad that they didn’t grow big as I could continue to run around without my aunts complaining, as they did with my cousin sisters. I’ve always liked the freedom that comes with having smaller breasts.
I grew a little insecure when I got to college and realized that my breasts were considered too small. I am now aware that a guy might find them too small, but I also know that I shouldn’t date someone who would think less of me because I have smaller breasts. But do I love them as much as I used to? Am I still insecure? I really don’t know.
This might seem petty but pregnancy scares me because I don’t know how well I will cope with bigger breasts. Only once have I ever had to deal with a man look at my cleavage uninvited and I cannot imagine how life will be when my breasts take center stage and men think it okay to give them occasional glances.
I’ll share a funny incident with my partner here. We had just started dating. This was the first time we were sprawled on his bed, hugging and kissing. I was lying on my back, with him on top of me and I could see that he was eager to touch my breasts. His hand had been tentatively moving up from my navel to my chest for some time. He finally let it rest on my chest and I could see that he was trying to grab on to something, anything! I wanted to laugh out loud as it was so obvious that there wasn’t much for him to hold on to, especially because I was lying on my back. Poor thing must’ve been thinking of holding my breasts for quite some time and guess what was waiting for him! It was quite difficult to stop myself from laughing but I somehow managed to. I still find it funny. I don’t know if it is self deprecating humour though. But I like it that I am comfortable enough with my breasts to crack jokes about them. And I like to think that I still love them the way they are.”