“”I have always been overweight according to everyone around me. It used to bother me but not to the point that it affected my sanity. I was happy with the way I looked most of the times even though having a mom and sis who are thin did get in the way. And a dad who till date comments about my weight. I never really had a problem except that I was always asked to wear a duppatta and was not allowed to wear T-shirts. The compliments I used to get were like, ‘You are so pretty but why don’t you lose weight?’ Once, my grandmother was admitted in the hospital, my cousin was attending to her along my grandfather.

Apparently she didn’t have undergarments so my mom went to buy her a few. She too is on the heavier side and my mom bought her 34 size bras. When she gave it to my cousin, it didn’t fit her. She was a 32 and my grandmother immediately declared, “ethrem valluth ponnu-entya” (Ponnu has such big ones. Ponnu is my pet name). I felt embarrassed. When I said, no, that’s not my size, my grandparents started arguing. This is when I realized that my breasts were big and that’s abnormal and that’s why I was always asked to wear dupattas and not allowed to wear T-shirts and tops.

Fast forward, I got married into a family where not even the next door neighbours were overweight. Every woman fit into the petite frame – you know, small breasts, flat ass and perfect weight and here I was with my big boobs and big ass.  One day, one of my husband’s cousins got her first period and my MIL kept talking about how worried they were as the said cousin had not gotten her period and she was 14. And then casually continued that she hopes she won’t be big breasted like her mum’s family who are all all big breasted ladies like you.

Recently, I wore an anarkali for my sister’s wedding and loved myself in it, but on the next day my MIL told me, “breast sadaranyekkalum vallutharunnu oru shaal ettude purath pokumbo?” (Your breasts looked bigger than usual yesterday why didn’t you wear a dupatta?) It was after the second incident that I started hating my breasts so much.

I have tried everything to reduce my breast size but have failed. When I consulted my fitness instructor, she laughed and said, “Everyone wants to increase their bust size why do you want reduce?” My weight and body seems to be a problem with almost everyone at home and  that’s one of the reasons why I hate visiting home.”

They wanted to be drawn with Ixora or Chetti.

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