“The second time I got pregnant, me and my husband thought that it was too early and decided on an abortion. It was a very unemotional, practical decision for me.
As soon as I confirmed pregnancy by a home test I wanted to get the abortion done but my doctor said I had to wait for a few more days to do it, because the implantation might not have happened yet.
Truth be told, it felt like raising a goat to be slaughtered later. It was a very weird feeling. I just wanted to get it over with because I was breastfeeding my then 2.5 yr old (still breastfeeding, now a year older) and my nipples were hypersensitive because of the pregnancy.
The process itself was fairly simple. Visited the doctor, a couple of blood tests and a scan later I was prescribed some medication. I was to take the pills at said times of the day. I had to sign a form and that was it.
Took the pills a couple of days later and it felt like mini labor. The contractions were horrible. None of my family except the husband, knew that I had an abortion. I lied saying that I had a bad period cramp.
I lied because I did not want anybody to tell me that I shouldn’t be doing it, or load my head with crappy myths. I wasn’t ready and still am not ready for another child.
I never felt guilty for a long time. And then one day I happened to listen to a few stories of mothers who had lost their babies, that’s when I felt guilty. Guilty that I got pregnant in the first place, guilty that I had decided not to go through with my pregnancy while there were people who were mourning their loss. But then guilt is oftentimes a useless emotion.
I think abortion should be normalized. There is no point in it being a taboo. Why bring a new human into the world when you can’t raise them properly? Why should you go through it when you are not ready? It’s ok to not want to have a child. It doesn’t make you a bad human.”
My Abortion Story is a crowdsourced project in partnership with Mybodymychoiceindia campaign. It hopes to provide a platform for people to share their experiences with abortion in their own words. There is so much discourse around right and wrong but little about people’s experiences. Through My Abortion Story, we are hoping we can address this gap by bringing all kinds of personal narratives to life.